He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
