Don't you send me to vm
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
