i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
