Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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