The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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