I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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