lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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