Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Pants are for mortals
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
