spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
