your thong is hanging out like whoa
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
