It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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