those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
