I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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