Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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