We need to rekindle our bromance
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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