I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
