I wanna bring you to show and tell
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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