I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
