i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
