You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
