The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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