I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
