god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
