miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
did i just pee glitter
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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