Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
