dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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