So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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