I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
