she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
