are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
