So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
