Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
