I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence