worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES