Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.