it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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