no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize