he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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