And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
