I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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