Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
