dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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