I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Do you have feelings for this penis?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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