It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
