Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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