also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize