When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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