Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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