"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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