Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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