would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
