He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
