she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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