when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
