I think scott just propositioned me for sex
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
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We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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