ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
