And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
