I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
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There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
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I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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