I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
