im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
