She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
nutella sex= disaster
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
