fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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