took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
