He is an equal opportunity slut.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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