someone get that fucking seahorse.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
