VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize