I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize