don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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